Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Just got off the phone with the Health Dept...

... regarding having NO hot water for THREE days (as of today). I really feel like KARMA is gonna totally come back to kick me in the ass for calling in the health department on the apartment complex, but what kind of person thinks it's okay to not have this situation fixed ASAP.

The apartment manager is an IDIOT... seriously.

Either way, the Health Department knows and they are ready to step in to light a fire under their ass -- see if that makes them move. I am so infuriated over this that I can't think straight or form a coherent thought...

I had to BOIL water last night to give each kid a bath. *insert exasperated yelling here*

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Excerpts from a "letter" I should have never written

"Let me just say that I am not unhappy with my life or the people in it. I guess I have just learned to accept them (the people that is). I'm pretty disappointed in myself and the person I've become. I don't care much for accomplishments and this feeling isn't fueled by that either. It's not about what I have or don't have, nor where I have been or will go. It's about me as person literally sucking.

Sucking the creativity, the fun, the joy -- the LIFE -- out of my kids. I'm turning into my mother. The one person that is responsible for most of WHO I am. Sure, she contributed some good things, but a lot of bad ones. I don't want to be the one that drags down their children, that stifles their creativity, that bursts their bubbles or walks all over their hopes and dreams. I want to be the mother that cares, the one that encourages, the once that will gladly hold their hand or stand by their side - whichever they choose. I don't want to be the one to call them stupid, to tell them they can't do something, that they're not good enough or smart enough. I don't want to be the one to RUIN their lives, their futures. I don't want them to look back in life and say, 'If only my mother had...' Because Internet, I do that - a whole lot.

I want my kids to know that I love them enough to NOT want to continue that cycle. I love them enough to care about their future and their greatness in life. I want them to continue being beautiful, intelligent, curious and always exploring - always growing. With no walls or boundaries to hold them back, no mother to put them down. I want them to fly, to grow wings - and if I thought I could - I'd teach them to fly. The sad thing is, I don't know how to stop the cycle. It's almost like it's genetically embedded in me - to be harsh and cold. I don't know how else to fix this other than to remove myself from the equation -- permanently"

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

I got a "Happy Valentine's Day" from DH and a semi-promise that he'll try to be home early from work. (He's been working late for the last couple of days.) I got him a V-day card. After he read it, he smiled, kissed and thanked me... he also asked HOW LONG it took me to find him that particular card. He knows that I will go through a gazillion of them before I settle on one. That's how he knows I love him.

Sent Jr off to school with a bag full of "goodie bags" and homemade cards. Hope he has a good day at school....

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Not so great...

I really wanted to update and be caught up, but I think I'm coming down with something. It might just be that the exhaustion of having to care for a 22 month old and being 7+ months pregnant finally caught up to me -- but this SUCKS. I have had an upset stomach for two days now and as I type this I can feel my intestines betraying me. Soon, very soon.

I was so tired/sick I asked DH to pick up something for dinner. I usually reserve such luxuries for the weekend or Wednesdays. This should tell you something. I still have plenty of things to do, like send off for my long-form birth certificate so I can finish the passport process. I gotta go get Valentine cards for the kiddo and materials/ingredients for a craft as well. Oh, and let us not forget laundry. There is ALWAYS laundry.

*le sigh*

I spent the better half of the day on the phone with all sorts of people and my head hurts, and so does my back from sitting at the table/desk. I feel just BLAH. I wish there was something fun to watch on TV so I could get my mind off of it. I still gotta give the kids a shower/bath. Okay... I can feel my stomach churning and something ready to explode. Don't know what end will be the affected one, but something tells me it wont be GOOD.

Monday, February 11, 2008



On Friday Emma woke up with NO FEVER. Hurray! The bug was passing but not without first kicking my butt and making me scream out "MERCY!" Emma kept vomiting for the remainder of the day although with longer intervals between puking sessions. This allowed for her to at least REST. It also allowed me to try and pick up the place. I managed to do a lot actually. By noon DH phoned me to let me know he was on his way to the airport. Once he got there this whole drama ensued about the flight being OVERBOOKED... and the possibility of him not actually being here by dinner time. My brain could not wrap itself around the thought of having to endure another sleepless night. Thankfully he got on the flight and made it safely home at about 6ish. He also brought PIZZA and BREADSTICKS with him. Hooray for fast-food. The kids ate more breadsticks than pizza, and Emma even took a bite (only to puke it up later). She slept better through the night than previous days, and the kids were just too wired and happy that their dad was back home... eventually we all dozed off in hopes of a better day.

Woke up "late" (past 7 a.m.) and a bit refreshed albeit still exhausted. No fever again! I'm really starting to think that we are in the clear. Emma is acting like she's very hungry. She sees JC drink a glass of milk and starts crying that she wants some. STUPIDLY, I give her a small amount of milk and she seems content. Not long afterwards she starts crying and being inconsolable. We figured she had a tummy ache and gave her some tylenol. Sure enough, she puked up the milk and I beat myself up over it. I had a brief moment of insanity after having to cradle her for the past 3 days (NON-STOP) and walk away from her, only to return full of remorse and feeling like a terrible mother. DH decides he'll take the other two kids to W-M to kill some time and treat them to a new toy. During this time Emma and I are left home alone, and she proceeds to puke ONCE more on me and then crashes for a few hours. DH arrives bearing gifts in the form of ROSES and CHOCOLATES. I love this man. LOL Each kid now has a new toy and a bag full of junkfood that we gorge on. Having learned my lesson I only offer Emma pedialyte and crackers for the remainder of the day and we are able to avoid yet another puking session... we're really hoping that she starts to feel better and eat real food soon.

To be continued...

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Night #2 -- Pukey Kid

I'm EXHAUSTED. Like completely and totally. I'd fall asleep right here at the desk if I could. Somehow, I don't think the wireless keyboard would make that great a pillow, and to be honest, it probably couldn't handle a few drips of drool.

So today went as smooth as it possibly could with minimal sleep, a baby that has a fever on and off all day long and two other kiddos that still need attention. Had a very busy morning, trying to get the kids dressed and out the door so that Junior could go to school, and the girls and I to wal-mart in search of the fever suppositories. Emma was miserable the WHOLE time and Emily wanted to SHOP (gawd, this kid inherited my shopping gene). Got the meds, got some gatorade and came back home.

Emma's fever broke early in the AM - about nine o'clock - and she seemed like her old self again. I let her munch on some dry cereal and gatorade. She doodled and played with the leapster and was all over the place. At the same time, I was trying to keep my eyes open to enjoy her brief moment of health, alas I was too tired. I eventually dozed off for a few minutes only to find Emma standing right next to me with a book she wanted me to read.

DH called at noon to check-up on both of us. At that point Emma was doing fine, I was gonna survive and things were starting to look up. I went back to bed after giving Emily a lunch consisting of a PB sandwich with milk and Emma followed. Then she closed her eyes as if wanting to nap and I braced myself for all hell to break loose... and it did.

At that point I administered another suppository and prayed and hoped that her brief nap would magically transform her to the rested and cheery baby she is. NO SUCH LUCK. From that point on she didn't want me to leave her side, and was very warm. Her temperature was 101.7 and climbed steadily. At about 5 p.m. it was 103.5. The only good thing was that she was still keeping down the dry cereal and gatorade.

I went to Walgreens with all three kids to pick up some motrin, be kool gel patches and diapers and stopped by McD's to get "dinner." She amazingly ate some fries and more gatorade and then she decided she wanted to go to bed... where she has been for most of the evening. I was able to give her some Motrin and Tylenol combination to try and bring the fever down and I let her munch on ice chips as a way of hydrating her.

As of right now her temperature is 101.3 and I really hope it's an indication that she is on the mend. Lets hope I make it through one more night of practically no sleep.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Night #1 -- Pukey Kid

Emma is SICK.

Here I am, it's late, I'm tired and DH is in Houston taking some course/training... and what do you know - Emma starts puking up EVERYTHING. She was fine this morning, wasn't eating a whole lot but was eating some, then I took them to the park and we came back and she took a nap. She woke up cranky and a little flushed, but I didn't think much of it. I'm trying to feed her and eat dinner as well when she pukes all over me. I'm telling you, it took a miracle of GOD for me not to start puking as well. I put her in the bath and she felt/acted better. Then I gave her a little bit to drink and she puked that up too. I gave her some medication that is supposed to stop the puking. She vomitted a few minutes later. Her fever started at 99.6 and right now it's holding steady at 100.7. *sigh* I can't even give her Tylenol cause she will probably throw that up too. The older two wanted attention, but with Emma throwing up constantly and acting a bit lethargic they had to make do without me. They behaved well for the last hour or so before bedtime.

I hope this is just some 24 hr bug that she will get over soon. I hate it when the kids are sick. I feel so damn helpless when I can't ease their discomfort. Tomorrow will be interesting to say the least. I am not the world's most energetic mother at this point - forgive me for being so damn pregnant. Lets hope she rests through the night and I'm able to get SOME sleep so that I can function tomorrow.

DH will be home Friday evening, and he's already been notified that I WILL be taking the weekend off. I will be locking myself in the bedroom and sleeping all damn weekend while he looks after the three kids. We'll see how much of a break I get.

Lord give me strength...

Tuesday, February 05, 2008


Random #1

The little girl does NOT like to wait. She wants things NOW. For example, she got hungry, and proceeded to shove a bowl at me so that I could fill it up with food. I was in the middle of getting dinner ready so luckily she didn't have to wait LONG. Immediately after she was done with dinner she started stripping down. She wanted a bath... NOW. So she stands at the bathroom door waiting (and wailing) for her older brother to finish HIS shower. She was happy as soon as she got in the bath. I'm waiting for her to CRASH in a few minutes.

Random #2

The older girl does NOT do well with sharing attention/toys/time with the little girl. She cries like her younger sister does if she does NOT get her away. The older girl will often scream "MINE!" in an attempt to take something away from her younger sister, only to have her mimic the "MINE!" and run away with whatever it is she wanted in the first place. I wonder how the two will cope with having ANOTHER girl in the house. The joys of having daughters. I can hear them bickering over something and the little girl saying "Mine! Mine! Mine!" Way to go on that one older girl.

Random #3

The boy is not very good at remembering things. Today while cleaning their room I found a red slip from the cafeteria telling me had a NEGATIVE balance. They send notices home as soon as they only have a WEEK left of money for lunch -- every day. So, he has NOT been giving me these notices for well over a week. After the balance reaches -$5.00 they start giving him an alternative lunch (i.e. peanut butter sandwich). I loaded the girls up a few minutes before pick-up time and deposited money in his lunch account. I also pulled him out of class since I was already there. At that point, he gives me a red slip indicating his balance was -$5.75. Questioned him, and it turns out he was still allowed to have his pick of lunch. *PHEW*

Random #5

The kids have been getting along well these past few days despite the lack of father. They play with each other and entertain themselves. The only problem I have is them being too rough on the little girl and having to REPEATEDLY ask them NOT to. This gets annoying fast. Thankfully it'll only be a few more days until the return of said father and I can take the weekend off... or pretend to. The boy has been doing well in school - he brings home an assesment sheet every week and he usually does superb on them. I'm happy his reading/writing skills are up to par but we have to work on his math and attention span.

Monday, February 04, 2008

29 weeks and 6 days pregnant...

... only 71 days to go.

Had a Dr's appointment today. First of all, I hate it when people make appointments and expect you to be ON TIME, however they don't see you until 45 later. Seriously... I can understand 15 minutes of wait (AT MOST)... but 45? In those 45 minutes Emma threw a tantrum, possibly cause she was bored of being there and because it was cramped space - whatever.

Once I saw the Dr. I had to bring up the issue of the baby measuring 3 weeks ahead in the second ultrasound. I am concerned about having two different due dates and him completely dismissing the second ultrasound. He suggested having another anatomical ultrasound done, but those are not "in-house" so that would be MORE money out of our pocket. For now, I am 30 weeks pregnant (almost). Baby's heartbeat was in the 130's - normal. Fundal Height was 33 cm - just about right (3 cms off). It was 31 cm 4 weeks ago, so I would like to think we're right on track. Oh, and I only gained 2 lbs. *grin*

I just hope this baby is healthy all around and we don't go bankrupt trying to pay for the birth. *sigh*

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Starting anew....

Wow, it's been a while since I've actually posted anything here. Life has changed in the past few years... *snickers*

Let's see... We now have 3 kiddos, going on 4. DH is finally back from the war and has finished his contract with the Army.

We now have a home back in Texas. Nice and spacious and custom-made. But we're living in Arizona... go figure.

I've often told myself that I need to record my thoughts and whatnot, and now that I have much more time on my hands (although not for long), I figured it'd be a good time to do so. My updating will probably take place at night, when the kids have finally gone to bed and I have a minute of silence to gather my thoughts. :)

For now I must go restore order to this place, and possibly do laundry.