Saturday, February 28, 2009


Managed to take a few pictures of the kids looking mighty cute. It took FOREVER to get them ready, but at least I have PROOF.





Sunday, February 22, 2009


Emily has been sick for the past couple of days. It's stressing me out. I hate to see the kids sick, in discomfort or pain of any sort. Monday can not come fast enough so that we can go to our family practicioner.

PLEASE SEND PRAYERS that she gets better soon. Thanks

Friday, February 20, 2009

Letter to DH...

I'm sitting here typing to you once again, since it seems that if I don't I forget the things I want to tell you. I really hope that you are able to read these, if not at least it helps me solidify what I'm thinking about.

First, Ben called last night after I talked to you. I was already asleep when the phone rang and scared the crap out of me. I guess he was checking up on us or something. Asked if there was anything I needed. I reassured him that we were fine. He said that he was just checking because there had been some incidents with his wife when he was away, and just wanted to make sure we were okay. Again, told him I was fine and didn't need anything and if an emergency arose I'd be sure to take him into consideration when asking for help. He was really rather annoying. But whatever.

The following is more of a mini-bitch session.

I was talking to Brenda when she mentioned that mom was going to Dad's rancho for ALL of spring break. A whole week-long visit. I didn't say much at the beginning but then it started to nag on me. I thought I could share with Brenda my disappointment in having mom place priority on people that are not even BLOOD relatives over her own daughter and grandchildren. She dismissed what I had to say with, "Pues, yo no se nada." Which infuriated me further because I've been nothing but empathetic with her providing advice, solutions and if nothing else a listening ear when she's dealing with mom. I really felt like she was trying to tell me that my complaint wasn't valid.

Later in the day she called again and asked me to take a picture of my anniversary ring. When I asked her what for, she said that mom wanted to see it and I flat out refused. I simply told her, "NO." My question is, if MOM wanted to see it, why didn't she ask herself. Why did she put Brenda on the phone to ask me? I see now that cutting mom out of our lives was a smart decision. I cannot deal with the drama and hurt that comes from dealing with her.

I have yet to confront Brenda on the way she acted towards me today, but if she is gonna be just like mom -- using me whenever she needs something and refusing to be there for me when I need her -- then she can just go her own way as well. I don't need this.

It really affects me immensely but I refuse to let these people get the best of me. I keep telling myself that if this was anybody else but family I would have long ago cut any ties to them. I don't want to see my kids get hurt by the same lies and rejection that I have been subjected to. I don't plan to take any measures to mend this relationship unless they are willing to step forward first and apologize. ::sigh::

Well, I guess that's it for now. I ordered pizza for the kids and they seemed to enjoy that. The funniest thing happened on the way back. We were driving down the road and all of a sudden Emma says, "LOOK! It's Papa." I frantically looked around to see who she was referring too. I saw a red Coca-Cola truck and figured she must have mistaken your pick-up truck for it. Behind it was a man in t-shirt and jeans. The kids must have seen the same thing because Junior said, "That's not Papa." To which Emma responded with, "Up there, he's in the plane." Sure enough, there was a little trail in the sky of a plane flying by. Once I saw it I agreed with her that Yes, your papa is in the airplane - up in the sky. I thought it was cool how she connected the fact that you are gone, with the fact that you got on a plane to get there. That little brat is gonna be a smart one, you'll see.

Well, it's almost bedtime so I gotta give the girls a bath. I hope to talk to you later tonight. Maybe I'll remember some of the things I just wrote to you. Love ya and miss ya. TTYL

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Emma is imitating Junior who just mentioned that he wants to take Karate lessons.

"Hi-yah! Hi-yah!" She exclaims with every kick.


"Yeah," she explains, "I get to kick people."

"You get to kick people? Why would you kick people?" I ask.

"Because I'm super."

And everybody knows that when you're super you get to do anything you want. Just ask Superman.

Houston, we have a signal.

DH was able to get a signal out in the middle of nowhere. Apparently the mess hall is where it's all happening....

It was nice to talk to him.

Video call snapshot 6

Almost two weeks down... six more to go.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Nothing exciting happened today.

We had a regular ole boring day today. I cleaned a good portion of the house. MY GAWD, you should have seen the crap that I took out of the kids bathrooms.

Emma is going through this phase where she wants all the attention. She will push the baby out of the way or trip her if she sees her coming towards me. She wont accept no for answer and will pout or cry when she doesn't' get what she wants. She also isn't eating very well. I can't figure out if it's just her being a typical 2.5 yr old or if something is wrong. Usually I have to sit her down and practically force some food into her.

This past week she has said things that really break my heart. When she or I can't open something she'll say, "I know! Papa can help!" When I try to tell her that he's "at work" she cries and refuses to acknowledge it. So now I just agree with her and she seems happier that way.

Well, Idol is on. I'm gonna watch what little Evelyn will allow. TTYL.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Totally pissed off!

I was able to talk to DH today, and no that is not the reason I'm pissed off. I'm pissed off at a bit of information I got from him. He asked if MINE (my BIL's wife) had called to let me know that DH was waiting for my phone call. I said NO, she hadn't. Why does this piss me off? Because throughout the course of the week I've been asked by my BIL to call his wife and let her know that he was online so that they could chat. Each and every single time he asked for that favor, I would call her and they would be able to communicate and all was dandy? Why would she NOT return the favor? WTF? I had half a mind to call her and ask her what her friggin' problem was. I didn't. Instead I called my MIL and told her what has transcribed and let HER know that I would not be delivering messages for her - and that she should find someone else that was going to call her. Knowing my MIL I'm sure she'll pass it on -- she's communicative like that. I called my sister and toldher about it and she says I have every right to be upset. Of course, she is my sister and would take my side even if I was dead wrong, but whatever. The point is I'm pissed and there better be an apology or some ass kissing of some sort if they want to get on my good side.

Despite that, I did talk to DH (only for 8 short minutes) and I was able to tell him that I love him and miss him. I have his cell phone number for the Congo (it's Zaire based) and once he finds out if incoming long distance calls are free, I'm sure I'll be calling him at least once a day.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way.

Gosh, can you tell that I'll be typing a lot during the time that DH is absent. I apologize, but I have NO ONE to talk to, and instead of going crazy talking to myself I might as well put it down in writing.

Anyway, I was thinking that maybe I'm looking at all of this distance/absence thing the wrong way. Tonight I let the kids share a room and sleep in their sleeping bags, a mini-camp out if you will. Before I would probably not have considered that and enforced the rules... rules. Maybe I'm depending too much on DH to be the other half to my parenting -- he was the fun parent, the one that would comfort them, talk to them, play with them -- while I was the one that made sure their needs were met in regards to food, clothing, education and all that jazz. With DH gone I gotta step up my game and do both parts of the parenting. I have to be more fun and involved in their playful moments. Anyway... I'm just thinking here... I took a pic of the kids, it's cute.

Camping Out

I forgot to post about this...

DH was able to call this morning from the Congo. According to him they got in last night. I understand there was a series of unfortunate events. From the airline losing his tools (probably thousands of dollars worth) to the vehicle they were supposed to travel in breaking down and having to ride a bus. I really hope the airline comes through and finds/returns the tools. An FMI representative was put "on the case" so to speak. I have little hope of his tools actually finding their way back... this is from their website (South African Airways).

"SAA does not take responsibility for the loss of items in checked luggage such as money, passports or visas, PC equipment, electronic devices, Cellphones, fragile items, business documents, valuable items and jewelery. Our general conditions of carriage refers to our baggage liability"

So what are they RESPONSIBLE FOR? I'd raise hell about it, but I don't think it'd make DH happy.

Anyway, DH is in the housing they have provided. He is rooming with two other co-workers. His brothers all got ONE house to themselves. I so would not want to be rooming with them. They'll be receiving cell phones and trucks for work and I'm hoping they allow incoming calls so that I can at least talk to him once a day with a calling card. There is no internet, although the company says they are working on it. He will also be working alongside some of the best engineers he's encountered and worked with in the past. I look forward to his many stories, but even more so to his arrival.

His closing words were, "Tell the kids I love them and miss them." *sigh*

Well, we also went to that party but I totally spaced out and forgot to bring the camera with me. Oh well, maybe another time. The important thing is that we actually made it out of the house. I have more later... but for now, this is good enough.

Happy Valentine's Day...

Missing my honey on this highly commercialized date...

Sharing with ya the nice roses he got me and the plushie.

Valentine's Day 2009

Today we'll be going to a birthday party at the local Pizza Hut at 1:00 p.m. -- I'll be taking lots of pictures, and I hope to post some of them later. Enjoy your loved ones.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Three day weekend ahead.

The kids will be off on Monday due to President's Day. I hate to admit that I do NOT look forward to it. Weekends were DH's thing. If he was around, I'd probably be happy at the idea of spending a few extra hours nagging him. **Sigh**

On a positive note I RSVP'd for a birthday party tomorrow. I figure if we stay busy during the weekends, time will fly by. I'm thinking of starting a raised bed garden and getting the kids involved in the whole process. Also I'm gonna go ahead and get an estimate for a walkway ni front of the house. Once that is put down I can put in my rose bushes. I got six of them today - three red and three white. I'll get the kids to help me with that too. It'll be fun to dig and plant these things and then to watch them bloom. Hopefully they'll bloom by the time DH comes home. Next weekend we can go purchase the lumber for the raised bed and get a pickup of topsoil for them.

The house is a PIGSTY. I havent' done much since DH left. I was planning on sprucing up the master bath this morning, but that went to crap once the space saver I bought was put together. It was deceivingly small. On the box it looked like a large piece of furniture, but once it was erect, well -- it wasn't. I had to take it apart (very carefully, so as to not damage it) and put it back in the box. I took picture of it, I need to upload them and show ya'll.

Well, I'm gonna try and work into the night getting this place clean. It's my hope that if I start out the week with a clean house I'll be able to maintain it clean for the remainder of the time DH is gone. God help me. I find myself feeling very depressed and without the strength or motivation to do anything.

Off to clean I go.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Parenting SOLO sucks eggs...

I went to the bus stop to pick the kids up and arrived there just as the bus was driving away. Junior didn't want to get in the van and insisted on walking home. Emily was already crying. I asked Emily what was wrong and was a tad upset to find out that it was because of her brother's own doing. I'm trying to take this CALM-ASSERTIVE approach to parenting solo but I don't think I am getting far with it. I asked Junior why he pushed her and was told that it was because there wasn't enough room. I'm not sure what that means, but I asked him to say, "Excuse me" instead of pushing people out of the way. It was followed by him pouting and whining that he didn't want to say that because it's booooring.

Upon arriving home he decided he didn't want to exit the vehicle, so I used my handy-dandy countdown and was able to get him out, only to have him drop his stuff and have it blown away by the cold wind. He stomped into the house and dumped his belongings on his bedroom floor. Minutes later I heard Emily crying from the bathroom. When I went to investigate, I discovered that Junior was not letting her urinate because he felt he was entitled to use the bathroom before her, despite the fact that she was in it. It was clear that he was simply instigating and looking for a fight. I asked him to leave the bathroom, and disgruntled he proceeded to crumple all of his homework worksheets and throw them on the floor. When I asked him, "What is your problem?" He responded with, "I don't want to have any sisters to take care of, not even one."

I left him along and during that time he proceeded to cry. Still remaining calm at this out pour of emotion, I tried to inquire as to what was bothering him. He said he wanted to run away because he didn't want to do homework. I tried to make him see the logic behind running away by asking him where he would sleep, how he would keep the cold at bay and what he would eat. I came to my wits end and presented him with TWO options. One: He could pick up the crumpled pieces of homework and do it, or TWO: He could could pick up the crumpled pieces of homework and put them away in his backpack WITHOUT doing them. I told him that the decision was his to make but that the HAD to make a decision about it or there would be repercussions. He decided that he would do his homework and obediently picked up his homework and sat at the table to work on it.

He is not yet finished with his homework, but at least he's not crying. He ate his plate of spaghetti and even served himself a bowl of cereal. I'm really trying to not let things like these get to me, but I lack the patience to TALK THINGS OUT when little people refuse to communicate. It's like talking to a wall.

The girls (Emily and Emma) also had a disagreement, but following King Solomon's lead I told them that they could either SHARE or that I'd put it away completely. I asked Emma to WAIT HER TURN and Emily obliged when she finished playing her game. I really, really hope that this is a sign of things to come.

Anyway, I'm pooped from this ordeal. I feel a tickle in the back of my throat that seems to be creeping up to my ears. I certainly hope it's not an oncoming ear infection, cause Lord knows that's the last thing I need. Well, I gotta try and put some sort of normalcy back into our lives, so I'm off to start the bathing....

Thank God for small favors...

Johannesburg Airport - Taken by Justin Qian

DH is in Johannesburg, South Africa. I was able to chat with him via Skype (before he used all his wireless allowance) and then later on the phone. I'm so happy we had the mind to set it up before he left. One of his brothers was held back at the airport. He is not allowed to leave and therefore has stayed in a hotel located within the airport grounds. Everyone else is fine - a bit dazed and confused due to the time differences, but fine.

The airline broke DH's expensive luggage and now he has to haul around a bag full of tools without any of the nifty little wheels. I submitted a claim through the website and it said that a representative should get back to me in the next FEW WEEKS. awesome.

I thank God however, for all the small favors that have made the past few days tolerable...

Thank God for sisters that are willing to spend endless hours on the phone.

I'm so glad I at least have my sister to talk to. She has been a huge source of support and comfort for me. She empathizes with me and tries her best to help me stay afloat and not drown in my own sadness. I'm thankful for her.

Thank God for SKYPE!

I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this new way to communicate with him. The kids were able to see their father and speak to him before they left to school. It gives me a small sense of peace to know that they will still be able to see each other.

Thank God for

The last time I used this website was when DH was in IRAQ. That's over 3 years ago. It was the only source of calling cards with reasonable rates to Iraq. DH was able to send me his hotel number in Johannesburg and I was able to find a calling card quickly and talk to him. At 6 cents a minute, it's just like calling within the states with some phone plans.

Like I said, thank God for small favors.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Thank God for technology...

Video call snapshot 1

I get to see him while he's away. He was in London during this call. I got to see him, and so did the girls. Evelyn tried to reach out to him when she saw him on the monitor. Several times she would reach for the monitor screen and encounter glass instead of her father's features. It's sad, but at least we have this....

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I'm dying here...

...Crying even. DH is gone, on his way to the airport (Phoenix). From there he will fly to London, and from London to the Democratic Republic of the Congo in Africa - the name of the city escapes me. He'll be gone for the next 8 weeks. It's only 8 weeks. I know this. This is but a blink of an eye compared to the YEAR LONG deployment he did. And he's not going as a soldier, but a civilian - but it tears me apart. My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces because my other half won't be here to share in the highs and lows of everyday life. It'll hurt even more when the kids ask when he'll be home, and I know Emma will wait up for him at least during the first few nights. He's gonna be on the other side of the freaking world - so it's not like he can just get in the car and drive home to us. I'm sure I'll spend the rest of the day in a fog of sadness...

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Baking Pretty Things....

The Crafty Crow is having a giveaway for $50 mini-shopping spree at Bake it Pretty. The products on their website are too cute for words! And they have awesome reasonable prices. I coveted their tips for cupcake icing-->

Visit The Crafty Crow to see how you can enter and possibly be the winner! Hurry it ends Saturday!