Friday, May 01, 2009

GAWD.

I don't know if anyone even reads this, but I need to get it out cause I'm a bit shaky thinking about what's gonna go down.

I'm bringing my little sister out here. I talked to DH and he agreed to pay for her bus ticket for her to come stay with me for a while, or maybe indefinitely. Why indefinitely? Because my mother might happen, that's why.

We've tried to get my little sister to come out here in the past. She has yet to agree to it. But this time mom is at it again. I won't say that she's gone too far because she ALWAYS goes too far. This week she broke the bathroom door in (while my sister was trying to have a bowel movement) to SCREAM at her and blame her for my little sister throwing up so hard she bled from her nose. It's my sister's fault because she failed to go drop off Melody's special lunch, thereby forcing her to eat too much from the school menu and consequently throw it up. Nevermind that this is my mother's child, therefore her responsibility. And nevermind that my mother has neglected her responsibility/child resulting in terrible eating habits that are borderline eating disorder. Nevermind her lack of parenting and involvement. This is clearly my sister's fault. Because she's unemployed, uneducated and unworthy of living under her roof.

She unemployed and uneducated because mom took the vehicle she was using to drive herself to work and "reassigned" it to my 16 year old brother. According to mom, Brenda had her chance and her time to pursue an education and that chance and time is long gone. The vehicle is now for my younger brother to use despite the fact that he doesn't have a license, insurance or money to put gas in it.

And eating FOOD? Where does my little sister get off eating so much food when she doesn't even have a job or provide to the household. Where does she get off having BASIC NEEDS? Who does she think she is? A MAN? If she had two testicles and a penis dangling between her legs, then this would be acceptable. But she has a useless vagina... she does not RATE basic needs.

Mom, is crazy. I don't know what her problem is. I wish I did, so I'd now how to address it and address HER. I can only hope to give my sister a glimpse at life without someone always bringing her down, always telling her she's not worth anything and how she can't do anything right. I want her to have a better chance at happiness and a better outlook on life than what she has right now. I want her to understand that just because life sucks within those four walls and with those people surrounding her, that it doesn't mean happiness isn't out there. I hope she learns to love herself and realizes she's worth a lot to many people. I hope she learns to be happy with herself and chooses the right people to have in her life. Even more, I hope she learns to cut off people that bring her down, even if that person is your mother.

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