Saturday, September 11, 2010

Dreams...

The first three pregnancies, I dreamt of my grandfather. He was there, with his powerful presence, smiling at me. When my grandmother passed away (I was three months pregnant with my fourth) she joined him in my dreams. In my dreams they would play with my children, laugh their hearts out at the things my kids did and just be merry and happy. This pregnancy, I should have known something was wrong when neither of them appeared in my dreams. Just last night I found out that there is no baby. A blighted ovum they call it. Nothing to "miscarry" except an empty sac. I'm sitting here, cramping and with back pain waiting for my body to take care of itself as naturally as possible.
Gone are the dreams and hopes of having another little one running around. No more will I daydream about this baby's features. I can only hope that this baby visits me along with my grandparents in my dreams.